nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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