Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize