HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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