I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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