Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
