I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
my poor anus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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