I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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