Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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