I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
