she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
