im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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