Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
