Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Actions speak louder than pants.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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