You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
