Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
