I understand Curling. That high.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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