Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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