I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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