I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize