When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
