She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
