Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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