dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
