Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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