he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
