it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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