I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
