He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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