we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He passed out mid-signature
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
