I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
