sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
