so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Boobs are out for the taking
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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