Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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