her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize