Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
