Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
