he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
