so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
