everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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