Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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