it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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