Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize