He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
