The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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