Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
