Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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