have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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