that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
