I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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