just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
