...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
