think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
