Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
