awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
