now i know why i became what i already was.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
