Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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