We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
