bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
