Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize