we have officially lost it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
