Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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