i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
