Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
