She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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