Betty ford says i'm here all night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
