So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
