brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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