He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
